William Thompson was overjoyed, grabbed a few bills with Chairman Mao’s face from the drawer, and dashed downstairs.

Chapter 7

　　The School Heartthrob’s Death Incident

　　This mixed-use residential and commercial area had all kinds of shops, forming a small self-sufficient ecosystem. You could hole up in the neighborhood for a month without stepping outside and never worry about running out of supplies—they even had specialty stores for phones and computers. If you got dizzy from gaming at home, there was a general hospital just on the next street.

　　William Thompson went downstairs, and after walking just over two hundred meters, he reached the pharmacy.

　　At that moment, his phone rang. Caller: David Harris!

　　A college roommate.

　　“William Thompson, did you skip class or take a leave? Why didn’t you come to school?” David Harris asked.

　　“Not feeling well, resting at home,” William Thompson replied.

　　“Is it serious? I was hoping to play PUBG with you.”

　　“It’s nothing major, I should be able to come to class tomorrow.”

　　“That’s good,” David Harris said. “There’s just the two of us single dogs in the dorm, no one to play games with me.”

　　William Thompson had lived on campus his first semester, but now he mostly stayed at home. Occasionally, he’d join in for some gaming or PUBG, and if they played late, he’d crash at the dorm.

　　William Thompson: “…Is being a single dog something to be proud of? You talk about it every day. Besides, I’m not a single dog, I’m a single noble. I’m not like you guys who’ve mastered the Five Dragons Embracing the Pillar technique.”

　　None of them had girlfriends, but there was a difference between being single. Those who sat alone in their rooms, using their hands as wives, were single dogs, while single nobles could still enjoy the pleasures of life.

　　We are not the same.

　　If my eel even gets hungry, that is.

　　Thinking of his hereditary kidney deficiency, William Thompson felt a heavy weight in his heart.

　　He arrived at the pharmacy, hung up the phone, and pushed the door open. A middle-aged man in a white coat stood behind the counter and asked, “What do you need?”

　　Eh?

　　William Thompson suddenly realized he’d forgotten the name of the medicine.

　　What was it called again?

　　“I can’t remember the full name of the medicine,” William Thompson scratched his head.

　　“No problem, just tell me two characters from the medicine’s name,” the middle-aged uncle said confidently, “I’ve been selling medicine for over ten years. Even if you only remember one character, I can guess it.”

　　William Thompson said, “I only remember the last two characters.”

　　The middle-aged uncle nodded, “Go ahead.”

　　William Thompson pondered, “Capsule…”

　　The middle-aged uncle: “……”

　　The uncle’s face darkened. Capsule, seriously? You’re not here to buy medicine, you’re here to mess with me, aren’t you?

　　William Thompson gave an awkward laugh, “I’ll call my friend and ask.”

　　Luckily, he’d given his old iPhone 6 to Grandma Thompson.

　　After making the call, William Thompson said, “Two boxes of ‘勥昆烎菿奣’ capsules.”

　　As soon as he finished, he noticed the uncle was stunned for a moment, then looked at him with a strange expression. William Thompson suddenly remembered—this medicine was for treating kidney deficiency…

　　The middle-aged uncle: (￢＿￢)

　　William Thompson: (￣ω￣；)

　　After paying and getting the medicine, William Thompson’s face was burning with embarrassment. He rushed out of the pharmacy, mortified. Next time, he’d have Grandma Thompson buy it for him.

　　……

　　After getting home, he took two pills and lay on the sofa to recuperate. He could only lie down—standing made his kidneys ache, only lying down felt comfortable. Grandma Thompson had recently become obsessed with using the computer, and William Thompson was teaching her step by step. He also topped up some money for Old Ma and bought Grandma Thompson a cheap skin.

　　The hereditary kidney deficiency had become a mental burden for William Thompson, haunting his thoughts day and night. That night, he had a dream: in the dream, the voluptuous, shapely, and beautiful Grandma Thompson welcomed him into her bed.

　　William Thompson was thrilled, but his body was honest… No matter what, the gummy candy wouldn’t turn into hard candy, and he was sweating with anxiety.

　　Grandma Thompson was anxious too, shouting: William Thompson, fire your cannon! Fire your cannon! Don’t let me look down on you.

　　William Thompson collapsed in tears by the bedside, saying, Grandma Thompson, I just can’t do it.

　　He woke up in despair and sadness, half his pillow wet with tears.

　　Morning came, and the bright spring sunlight streamed in through the window. He was relieved it was just a dream, but then a deep sense of guilt washed over him.

　　A spring dream leaves no trace, with Grandma Thompson as the heroine.

　　It even rhymes.

　　“My thoughts are too dangerous, I need to get used to her identity quickly. She’s Grandma Thompson, Grandma Thompson isn’t scary, not scary at all.” William Thompson shook his head and silently repeated this three hundred times in his mind.

　　A Grandma Thompson fell from the sky—if she were a white-haired old lady, it’d be fine. William Thompson wouldn’t mind playing the role of a filial grandson. But she just had to be so well-endowed.

　　He still needed some time to adjust to their relationship, or else even the coffins of his ancestors would be rattling.

　　His kidneys still felt empty, occasionally throbbing with pain. The miracle medicine recommended by Grandma Thompson hadn’t worked instantly, but since his father had once taken it persistently and, in one go, helped his mother get pregnant with him, it must be effective.

　　William Thompson put a capsule in his pocket, slung his backpack, and headed out for school.

　　Grandma Thompson chose to stay home, because last night William Thompson had helped her download a bunch of online games. Although battle royale games had taken the world by storm, the online gaming world was still dominated by a certain penguin company. So, most of the games downloaded were developed by the penguin.

　　Grandma Thompson found it all very interesting and quickly fell in love with online games. Last night, she played games and watched movies alone in the living room, pulling an all-nighter—her energy was off the charts.