At this moment, we could all feel Roger's pain.

Honestly, it was pretty messed up—we flew all the way here just to hear Roger say a few words, and now, seeing him like this, I understood: maybe he had never been this serious in his entire life.

“That year when I fought with Mr. Logan, I got so angry—not because he was wrong, but because he was too right. My whole life has been about redemption, and what he said hit me right where it hurt the most. When I was young, I was reckless and made my parents worry sick. Later, I wanted redemption, so I listened to my mom and went on blind dates, got married at twenty-four. A little over a year later, I got divorced, but I still wanted redemption. I worked hard, hoping to give my child a better life.” At this point, Roger's voice was thick with tears: “Then something else happened, and I didn’t know how to redeem myself anymore... Dora was already two years old when I realized I liked men!”

The six of us were stunned on the spot, not even daring to breathe.

“All these years, I’ve secretly dated several ‘friends’. I met someone suitable, and we’ve been together for three years.” Roger's voice completely choked up. He hugged his head, pressing his thumbs hard into his temples, then said, “I don’t dare tell my parents. I don’t know how Dora will see me when he grows up. I’m not sure how you all will treat me after knowing the truth.”

None of us responded. No one knew how to pick up where Roger left off.

Roger lowered his hands from his head and looked at each of us in turn, saying, “The last time we came here was National Day in 2002. That day was Shawn's twentieth birthday. I remember several people came from out of town, Ben even flew back from Shanghai—it was his first time on a plane. That day, Mr. Logan said he was done with school and wanted to go out into the world on his own. We saw him off here…”

Tonight, I was feeling pretty calm at first, but by this point, I couldn’t stay calm anymore.

I felt like I really wanted to cry, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t. It was a terrible feeling. For years, I’d wanted to find a chance to lock myself in and have a good cry. From past experience, a real, cathartic cry would relieve a lot of pent-up pressure, but every time, I just couldn’t do it.

Roger kept talking: “That night, we agreed to meet here again in ten years, to see who had done better. But all of us forgot about it. Last National Day was exactly ten years, and no one mentioned it. Today, I brought it up—ten and a half years is close enough.”

“I still remember that day Warren said he hoped that when we met again in ten years, each of us would be a rich guy with a pretty girlfriend. Warren really is a motivational guy—he says it, he does it. Out of all of us, he’s the only one who’s ever had a ‘little honey’. Mr. Logan is also a motivational guy. He said he’d travel half of China, and none of us expected he’d really go out there with nothing and wander for years, traveling from Hunan to Henan on just a platform ticket. The two of them made me believe that as long as you stick to your beliefs, you can achieve what you want.”

“I don’t know if it’s too late to talk about dreams at thirty-three. If I don’t say it now, I might never get another chance. Since last year, my partner and I have a ten-year plan. We hope that in ten years, we can go abroad, to a place where same-sex marriage is accepted, and I want to marry him. You all know how bad my English is—I only started learning a foreign language again in my thirties, but I don’t want to give up. I’m afraid Dora will be ashamed of me when he grows up. I’m afraid my orientation will make it hard for him to hold his head up. I want to go somewhere more open-minded. I hope that when Dora grows up, he’ll think I’m a normal person.”

“That’s why I called you all here today. I’ve said what I needed to say.” At this point, Roger picked up his glass, his tone heavy: “If you still consider me a friend, raise your glass and drink with me. If you don’t want to, you can leave right now—I won’t blame you.”

No one spoke, and no one raised their glass.

Only Roger was left performing a one-man show, his hand shaking as he held his glass.

After a while, the usually lively Luke finally couldn’t stand the silence. He said, “Jack, you’re not convincing enough like this. When are you going to bring your ‘sister-in-law’ out to meet us?”

Ben just walked over and slapped Roger on the shoulder, saying, “You fool, you really underestimate me. You think I’ve never heard of best buddies sticking together?”

Tyler cursed, “Damn it, I knew something was off with you, kid.”

Warren was as carefree as ever: “Jack, let’s make a deal. I know a few girls who really want a good gay friend as a bestie. How about I introduce you to them? You can go to the hot springs together, get some beauty treatments, and help me secretly take a few photos, how about it?”

I didn’t say anything. I just walked over and patted Roger on the shoulder. Roger put down his glass and burst into tears, wailing like a child, with dramatic gestures. It was hard to imagine a man in his thirties could cry so earth-shatteringly.

At that moment, the ruthless blade of time cut through us all.

On this day, my brother Roger officially came out.

Chapter 014: Dreams