Old Priest nodded and said, “You were born at the hour of the Rat on the fifteenth day of the seventh lunar month. This kind of fate is called a yin fate, also known as a ghost fate. It’s not a good fate—you’ll be plagued by bad luck your whole life, sigh!”

Damn, this Old Guy was actually pretty accurate, because I really have been as unlucky as he said. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always run into all sorts of bad luck.

For example, when I was little, my mom took me shopping, and as we were walking, she suddenly realized I was gone. Later, she found out I’d fallen into a sewer and almost drowned; or, for instance, getting hit on the head by falling objects was a regular thing—sometimes it was a flowerpot, sometimes a used condom, and sometimes even a TV, a washing machine, or a big refrigerator. All in all, the fact that I managed to grow up alive is already a miracle.

Seeing how spot-on Old Priest was, I was about to ask if there was a way to break my bad luck, but when I looked up, I saw the guy grinning lewdly and giggling to himself.

That made me a bit suspicious, so I asked him what he was laughing at.

{Old Daoist} said, “Meeting someone with your kind of unlucky fate today really makes me happy.”

Hearing that, I almost wanted to curse him out. Damn it, is this guy looking for a beating?

My face instantly turned cold, and I asked, “Are you joking with me, sir?”

{Old Daoist} picked his nose, flicked out a booger, and then said, “What I mean is, even though your fate is bad—a yin fate—it’s actually perfect for being a Daoist priest and becoming my disciple. Isn’t that a great thing?”

Pfft! You want me to become a Daoist priest and your disciple? Screw you! I immediately turned to leave. I finally understood—this guy is just a swindling Old Fraud, and probably not right in the head either.

“Young man, I’m telling the truth. Your fate may not be good, but it’s indeed suited for being a Daoist priest and my disciple.” Seeing that I wasn’t stopping, Old Priest continued, “But if you leave now, no one will be able to save you. According to my calculations, your lifespan is almost up—you probably won’t live past three days!”

Hearing this, I was startled and turned around to question him, “What makes you say I won’t live past three days?”

{Old Daoist} curled his lips and said, “Then let me ask you, have you run into any big trouble recently?”

I said, “I was just crying alone a moment ago. You don’t need to be a fortune-teller to know I’m in trouble.”

“Knew you wouldn’t believe me!” {Old Daoist} glanced at me, then calculated on his fingers, putting on an air of mystery. “Young man, if I’m not mistaken, you came into a windfall two days ago, right?”

This time I was really stunned, dumbfounded for a moment, because two days ago I did pick up a big pile of spirit money. If, according to John Thompson, spirit money counts as wealth, then I really did come into a windfall, didn’t I?

“You… what kind of windfall are you talking about?” I was shocked inside, thinking, could this Old Guy really be that good?

“Windfall naturally means money!” {Old Daoist} picked his nose again and grinned slyly. “But this windfall will cost you your life. As for you now, sigh…”

At this point, I started to panic a little, because it seemed like Old Priest had really figured out what happened to me. Seeing that he was about to say more but stopped, I got anxious and quickly asked, “What’s wrong with me now?”

“First, tell me if I was right or not?” {Old Daoist} saw how anxious I was and laughed smugly.

“Right, you got it. I did pick up some money two days ago, and it was a pile of spirit money, damn it.” I nodded and told him about picking up the spirit money. Since he’d hit the nail on the head, I really wanted to hear what else he had to say, so I had no choice but to go along with this Old Guy’s way of doing things.

After hearing about what I’d been through these past few days, Old Priest stroked his goatee and said, “Spirit money is still money. The reason you mistook spirit money for real money is obviously because you were bewitched by a ghost, which means a ghost wants to harm you.”

“A ghost wants to harm me?” I jumped in fright.

“Yes. How could a living person mistake spirit money for real money? If it’s not being bewitched by a ghost, what else could it be?” {Old Daoist} continued picking his nose absentmindedly.

“Why would a ghost want to harm me?” I was really confused.

{Old Daoist} said, “Think carefully—have you done anything you feel guilty about?”

“Guilty?” I frowned and thought about it. I’m such a good person, what could I have done to feel guilty about? After thinking it over, in all my life I’ve only done two things that went against my conscience: one was peeking at the neighbor girl Xiaohua taking a bath when I was a kid, and the other was a month ago when I saw an old lady fall and didn’t help her up.

Logically, peeking at a girl bathing is a bit immoral, but that was when I was a kid, and something that small shouldn’t be enough for a ghost to come after me. As for not helping the old lady who fell, that’s even less my problem—after all, I wasn’t the one who knocked her down. These days, who dares to help a fallen old person? If it happened to you, would you help? Hell no, you’d probably say: Only an idiot would help!