Chapter 1 【A Life That Screws You Over】

"Just now, that classmate asked what my philosophy of life is. I can answer her..."

Standing at the podium, William Carter yawned lazily in front of more than fifty freshmen, then glanced with a half-smile at the stunningly pure and elegant freshman girl sitting in the first row, and drawled, "Life... is like a giant sandpit..."

"Pfft—!"

The Principal, who was sitting in the back of the classroom listening, instantly sprayed out the premium Tieguanyin tea he had just sipped, nearly choking to death.

He could swear to the Minister of Education that The Principal really is a qualified Christian. If it weren't for the Buddha's sake, he wouldn't have given this damned lazy guy even the tiniest chance.

Is this really a top graduate student from Kyoto Medical University? Who cares, The Principal certainly doesn't believe it.

Just look at this guy with his messy black hair and an old-fashioned, greasy suit at least ten years out of style, with lazy eyes and a slack demeanor—he looks nothing like a social elite, more like a parasite. Could he really have come from Kyoto Medical University?

"Oh, Maria..."

Even if The Principal's head had been caught in a door, he would still know how wrong his decision was to let this guy teach a trial class.

Just like his first love Maria, that French girl once said, his heart is too soft. How did he get fooled by this kid and his connections?

"Life is a giant sandpit, so the faster you run, the higher you jump, the deeper you sink, classmates..."

William Carter continued in a tone full of sighs and with gentle eyes, tempting this group of boys and lolis both aurally and visually: "So, in the end, I’ve summed up a philosophical saying: Life is a process of being screwed over; getting screwed is our life..."

"Clap clap clap—" That was the girls clapping their hands red.

"Boom boom boom—" That was the boys pounding their desks, iron fists invincible.

The classroom was filled with the scent, stench, and decadence of hormones in overdrive, instantly giving this philosophy class a bit of a sex-ed vibe.

Awesome! So satisfying! Such a postmodern collision of art—absolutely stream of consciousness, this teacher is a once-in-a-century find!

The Sandpit Emperor!

In an instant, the boys and lolis crowned William Carter with a hazy yellow emperor's crown—thankfully, not a green one...

"Teacher... I have a question."

The loli who had just asked a question stood up, her face flushed, heart pounding, stammering and shy. She gazed at William Carter with silent longing, making even this famously lazy and unserious guy feel a bit guilty. "Uh, this female student, do you have another question?"

"Teacher, may I ask how we can have a wonderful life without... getting screwed over?"

Clearly, this girl is a very reserved and good girl, still with a strong loli vibe. She tilted her head, smiled at William Carter, and finally asked a very hypocritical, totally screwy question.

"Well, classmate, please answer a question from the teacher first..."

William Carter was holding back a laugh, and actually mimicked the loli, tilting his head slightly: "If you’re standing in a huge sandpit you can never get out of, and you’re not wearing combat boots, but you don’t want sand getting into your shoes, what should you do?"

"Hmm?"

The Principal had wanted to stand up and stop this utterly ridiculous philosophy class, but this question piqued his curiosity, and he actually suppressed his anger for the moment.

"Let’s see what this kid says. He’s getting kicked out anyway..."

The Christian suddenly felt he had the heart of a Buddha.

"I’d find two plastic bags and cover my shoes!"

"Wrong! There aren’t that many plastic bags in life—they’ve all been taken by supermarkets to sell. And are you sure you have spare change?"

"I’d take off my shoes and go barefoot!"

"You’ll get calluses, girl... And are your feet really that pretty?"

"I..."

"Still wrong!"

"Then what’s the answer? I give up!"