Volume One: I Hate Assassins

Chapter 1: Life Is Far More Absurd Than Fiction

　　Fengning City!

　　A prefecture-level city in Yuanhai Province, it has kept pace with the country’s rapid development and is a relatively economically developed medium-sized city with a high per capita consumption level. Compared to the provincial capital, Fengning City lags only in population and area, and started a few years later.

　　A thriving city, booming with development.

　　Zooming in to a three-story building, this is a slightly old apartment, two streets away from the city’s main road, right next to the vegetable market. The only greenery is the ivy climbing the back wall.

　　Aijia Apartments!

　　The first floor is rented out as storefronts: a noodle shop, a spicy hotpot place, and a grain and oil store. The upper two floors are residential apartments. A straight corridor runs through, with rooms facing each other on both sides. Altogether, the two floors have about thirty rooms.

　　“Bang bang bang!”

　　Russell knocked expressionlessly on the door of Room 213. He is the landlord of this apartment, and today he’s here to discuss the lease renewal. If the tenant doesn’t plan to stay, he’ll end the contract and list the room online.

　　He kept knocking for five minutes, showing no sign of stopping. He knew someone was inside, because the tenant was a night-shift streamer who usually caught up on sleep during the day.

　　Sure enough, under Russell’s persistence—almost knocking a hole in the door—there was finally some movement inside. A string of curses floated out, and the streamer, wearing a camisole nightgown, opened the door. It took another ten seconds for her sleepy eyes to focus.

　　“Eh, isn’t this the handsome landlord? What brings you here today, knocking on my door?” When the streamer saw Russell, she immediately wrapped her arms around his, speaking in a coy, sugary voice.

　　Very sweet indeed!

　　“Hehe, such strong arms. Didn’t expect you to be so well-built.”

　　Because of the nightgown, her actions were quite suggestive, but Russell was completely unfazed. He pulled his arm free and took a step back, keeping a certain distance.

　　Russell didn’t do this because the streamer was ugly—she had the standard influencer face, and plenty of people called her a goddess during her streams. Nor was it because Russell had any issues with his orientation.

　　Russell had seen the streamer’s ID and knew that her double eyelids, oval face, and high nose bridge were all fake. She was originally a small-eyed, flat-nosed, square-faced girl. Her beauty was the result of two major “miracle” surgeries.

　　Russell got straight to the point: “Miss, your lease is up next month. I’m here to ask if you plan to renew. If so, you can pay six months’ rent in advance today.”

　　“Oh, talking about money is so hurtful. How about giving me a discount on the rent?” The streamer batted her eyes flirtatiously—not because she couldn’t afford it, but because she enjoyed teasing people.

　　She was used to online fans fawning over her, so she was very interested in someone like Russell who didn’t play along. Successfully flirting with him would make her feel even more confident in her looks.

　　Russell put on a smile: “Sorry, you’re not my type!”

　　“……”

　　The streamer rolled her eyes, pulled her strap back onto her shoulder, crossed her arms, and leaned against the door: “To be honest, your toilet here gets clogged every other day. I don’t plan to stay. I’ll move out at the end of the month—my sugar daddy got me a new place.”

　　“Alright, I’ll come for the keys at the end of the month. Remember to have the room cleaned, or you can pay 100 yuan and I’ll have the cleaning lady take care of it.” Russell was all business, but added kindly, “Although the contract ends here, we might work together again in the future. If your sugar daddy dumps you, you’re always welcome back.”

　　“……”

　　This conversation could make even silicone angry. The streamer took a deep breath, not wanting to stoop to Russell’s level: “Handsome landlord, when you come for the keys at the end of the month, make sure it’s at night. Don’t disturb my beauty sleep during the day. And... message me on WeChat in advance. I don’t want to open the door for you during a stream and cause unnecessary misunderstandings with my fans, you know?”

　　“No problem. Let’s add each other on WeChat for easier contact!”

　　“Don’t you already have my WeChat?” The streamer looked confused. “We added each other when I first moved in.”

　　Russell shook his head, not the least bit embarrassed: “I already deleted you—last time, when you sent me selfies in the middle of the night.”

　　The streamer’s eyelid twitched. She put her hands on her hips and, suppressing her anger, said, “If you deleted me, then forget it. Just call me!”

　　“Deleted that too!”

　　The streamer: “……”