“Oh…” Edward Lincoln waved his hand to show he understood and shooed the waiter out of the private room, but judging by his expression, he still didn’t really get it. Forget it, no point arguing with someone who’s never seen the world. Come to think of it, am I supposed to discuss Ming dynasty blue-and-white porcelain and fifty-two-degree aged Moutai with him?

“Let me wish you good health, Brother Wei De. Cheers…” I raised my cup, closed my eyes, and downed it in one gulp. The wine was very light, slightly sweet, not as strong as the homemade country liquor back home. Was it watered down?

“Good!… It’s been a while, Brother Junxian, and you’re even more impressive than before. Come, let me drink with you.” Edward Lincoln raised his cup again to invite me. Whatever, this wine is alright, I bet three or five bowls won’t knock me down, wahahaha…

A surge of heroism welled up in me, kingly aura and all, facing off one-on-one with Handsome Lincoln, while Emily Lincoln, the little loli, kept shouting and cheering at the side. Eventually, the little girl even grabbed me, insisting on a drinking contest. Am I supposed to be scared?

“Three cups first, then we’ll talk!” I glanced at the little girl with disdain. That slender waist, barely a handful, and an appetite as small as a cat’s—she wants to clink glasses with me?

Clink, clink, clink—three cups. Emily Lincoln’s blush deepened, her eyes seductive, but her words were sharp: “I’ve finished mine, Young Master Fang Jun, are you expecting a little lady like me to pour your wine for you?” Damn, looks like this girl can really hold her liquor. I surrender, how about I just drink one and a half cups…?

Unfortunately, negotiations failed. Emily Lincoln rudely rejected my well-intentioned proposal and showed clear dissatisfaction and contempt for me, this high-ranking, privileged scion of the Tang dynasty.

I was furious. Who does she think she is, looking down on me—a model member of society with a loyal heart and twofold readiness, a steadfast executor of the Three Represents, a youth of the Four Haves in the tide of reform and opening up, a five-star teacher praised at school, and a time-traveling powerhouse who crossed into the Tang dynasty just six days ago.

I slapped the wine jar in front of me and bared my teeth at the little loli: “What’s the big deal? It’s just a five-jin wine jar! I’ll take it all!” That’s what happens when you drink too much—boasting nonsense, talking rubbish, making Edward Lincoln’s eyes light up with excitement: “As expected of Brother Jun, this is truly the style of a famous scholar from the Wei and Jin dynasties. I… for your return to the world, let’s drink heartily today and not go home until we’re drunk…” The waiter was very attentive; before Edward Lincoln even finished speaking, he ran out of the room, and in no time—bang—a new wine jar appeared on the table… Damn! I want to go home…

Sigh, even time travel can’t cure my bragging habit… I hate myself for it, but there’s no time for regret now, so I can only drown my sorrows in wine…

One, two, three… I glanced at the three Edward Lincolns in front of me—he actually dared to recite poetry in my presence, with two little lolis? Or was it three little lolis, faces flushed, looking at Handsome Lincoln and cheering at his elegant poetry recitation. Are you trying to annoy me? Poetry, tsk… so lame. I want to sing… my go-to act after drinking, with over ten years of experience.

At that moment, gazing at the surging waves, I was filled with boundless pride, hair loose and clothes undone, standing atop the wine table, composing a world-shaking song…?? Was it real or not? I don’t know, anyway, I was drunk…

Chapter 5 John Brooks Is My Dad

As soon as I opened my eyes, everything in front of me was spinning, so I quickly shut them again in fright. “Young master is awake?!” Grace’s excited voice.

“Mm, I’m awake… just dizzy.” I kept my eyes closed, not daring to open them, still feeling the vertigo.

“Madam came by just now, made you some medicine, and told me to brew a pot of tea to help with your hangover.” Grace’s gentle and pleasant voice eased my irritation quite a bit. I mustered up the courage to open my eyes again; Grace was standing by my bed. Her delicate hands held a cloth-wrapped medicine pot, pouring it into a bowl on the table.

“Oh… right, Little Die, how did I get home yesterday?” Drunken amnesia—as long as I drink, I definitely can’t remember what happened afterward. I just hope I didn’t end up chasing that fat shopkeeper who squeezed me dry with a knife.

“Yesterday, His Highness King Jackson personally brought you back to the residence. I heard from William Brooks that you made quite a scene at Yunwen Pavilion.” The little girl covered her mouth with her sleeve and giggled, a fresh and innocent charm radiating from her, completely natural and unpretentious. If she were a few years older, she’d definitely be a knockout beauty.

My lecherous look was noticed by Grace, and a blush crept onto her cheeks. She hid it by pouring me tea and stopped talking. I despised myself—drooling over a little loli, how wicked. I’m a model young teacher in a harmonious society, not some creepy old man. Mm, this afternoon, I’ll write a hundred lines as punishment. For now, I’d better take my medicine, or Mom will nag me later.

“By the way, you said I made a scene?” After finishing the medicine, I remembered that Grace’s words seemed to have more to them.

“Yes… yes, that’s what William Brooks said. I don’t know the details, Big Brother Brooks didn’t tell me. After sending off His Highness King Jackson, he reported to the mistress. I only overheard a few words—something about you, and then His Highness King Jackson slapped the table and praised you…”

“Ah!…” Did I threaten to chop up the fat shopkeeper? Or did I swear on my chest to steal Dad’s jade ruyi again?