Edward Clark watched as Julia Cooper walked into the office building. Only then did he turn around, shrug his shoulders, and act as if nothing had happened.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a strange object, square-shaped, looking somewhat like an mp3 player. But as soon as he took it out, before he could press anything, a red indicator light on it started blinking. Edward Clark muttered something and put it to his ear. The first thing he said was, “I’m begging you, old man, can you please stop bothering me all the time, okay?”

A voice came from the other end, somewhat old, stiff and mechanical, yet with a hint of amusement. “Did you get fired again? I mean, even if you got sacked, you don’t have to take it out on me, do you?!”

“Every time I get fired, you’re always the first to check in on me. Are you just itching for me to give you a beating?” Edward Clark lowered his voice, with a hint of threat.

“Julia Brooks, oh, your esteemed Mr. Brooks’s weaknesses, I’ve told you all the dirt I have on him. If you can’t keep your job with all that, I really have nothing else to say except that you must have water in your brain,” the voice on the other end said leisurely.

“You son of a…” Edward Clark almost cursed, but held back. He didn’t really know how to curse anyway. He was usually a very easygoing person. Julia Cooper had secretly fallen for him precisely because he hadn’t uttered a single curse word in two months. “I just like getting fired, what can you do about it?” He paused, then continued, “Any good news lately? Like, maybe your period is irregular, or you’ve hit menopause or something? If so, you could take half a month or ten days off and stop coming to chat with me every day.”

The voice on the other end remained calm. “The Hang Seng Index soared today. I told you yesterday, if you just picked any stock to buy, you’d make as much as two years’ salary at that lousy company. If you don’t believe me, what can I do?”

“I’d be a fool to believe you,” Edward Clark muttered. “Who knows if you’re telling the truth? I’ve only got a little over a thousand in assets, and I have to look for the cheapest rent. You’re just up to no good, trying to make me lose my money so you can laugh at me, right?”

“I can lend you money,” the voice said blandly. “If you lose, it’s on me. If you win, it’s yours. Tens of millions, no problem. Just give me an account number, and the money will be there in ten minutes.”

“Are you crazy?” Edward Clark almost burst into tears.

“I’m not crazy, I just have money,” the voice replied. “Want to think about it? The index will keep rising, though the profit will be less.”

“Think my ass!” Edward Clark shot back, pressed a button to end the call, and muttered, “What kind of hermit are you? More like a masochist. Won’t leave no matter what I say. I really doubt if you’re even human!”

Section Three: Skinning

After ending the call, Edward Clark originally wanted to throw away that strange object, but on second thought, he put it back in his pocket. He reached for his phone, took out the SIM card, pinched it between his fingers until it turned into a ball, then flicked it in an arc straight into a roadside trash can!

Looks like he’ll need to buy a new SIM card for his new job. Edward Clark shook his head and gave a wry smile, then stuffed his money into his pocket. But out of the corner of his eye, he already saw someone approaching, a glint of cold light in their hand, slowly walking toward him.

Someone up ahead hurried over, holding a newspaper, seemingly not watching where he was going and about to bump into Edward Clark. Edward Clark sighed, took a step back, and the pickpocket behind him had already lightly slashed with a blade, about to make his move. Edward Clark reached out and grabbed the pickpocket’s wrist. “Bro, I don’t have many pairs of pants, just a few. Can you at least leave me one intact?”

“What did you say?” The pickpocket was small and scrawny but dressed to look respectable. These days, even pickpockets have seriously upgraded their image, trying to blend in with white-collar workers. He thought this four-eyed guy looked dull and slow, and the money in his pocket would be easy pickings. He never expected his foolproof move would get caught!

The other guy with the newspaper missed the collision, nudged the pickpocket with his shoulder, and gave him a look. The pickpocket understood, ready to struggle free, but suddenly cried out in pain and dropped to his knees, sweat the size of beans rolling down his forehead. “Please, sir, have mercy!”

The one who tried to bump into him still hadn’t figured out what was happening and crashed headfirst into a pillar, seeing stars, flailing his arms and legs. Then he got kicked in the butt and fell flat on his face.

Edward Clark withdrew his hand and smiled. By now, a commotion had started in the crowd, and people were looking over. Edward Clark brushed off his sleeves, left without a trace, and strolled away. The two pickpockets, both shocked and relieved, scrambled to their feet and soon disappeared into the crowd!

Strolling down the street, Edward Clark didn’t feel any of the frustration or depression of being unemployed. His record was five jobs in a month. Once, he was fired because the boss nitpicked everything about him. Another time, a beautiful female boss flirted with him, so he fired her instead. Sometimes, even if others beat him with a stick, he wouldn’t even fart. Other times, not only would he not fart, he might even beat someone so badly they lost control of their bowels.