“No-marked ANBU… Take his body away, clean up the scene, and leave immediately.” Upon hearing his subordinate’s words, Squad Leader’s tone remained unchanged, but he secretly thought this was troublesome. The subordinate was unaware of the inside story due to his lack of experience, but as a veteran of the ANBU, Squad Leader knew well that there was a group of shadowy ninjas in Konoha, known as ‘Root’. Anyone who got involved with that lunatic was never up to any good.

……

The next day, Konoha Ninja Village, Hokage’s Office.

After finally finishing the mountain of paperwork, the Third Hokage Samuel Harris, who had managed to get a rare moment of rest, skillfully performed his proud technique, the Telescope Jutsu, deciding to use the youthful energy of the younger generation to wash away his increasingly dormant heart.

Inside the crystal ball, there was an open-air women’s bathhouse, with all kinds of cute girls soaking in the hot spring, occasionally letting out bell-like laughter. Entering pervert mode, Samuel Harris hugged the crystal ball with both hands, staring unblinkingly as water droplets slowly slid down the girls’ tender skin. Samuel Harris’s eyes followed the droplet as it flowed into the valley between two soft, white mounds, until it was blocked by the swirling steam.

“Hokage-sama!”

Just as Samuel Harris was letting out an inexplicable laugh, drooling all over the floor, the ANBU Commander William Baker barged in uninvited, pushing the door open directly.

“……”

“……”

Big eyes met small eyes, and the air froze.

William Baker looked utterly shocked, his worldview taking a devastating blow. The Hokage, beloved by the whole village, was actually a peeping tom? No, impossible! I must be mistaken. The Hokage is so noble and upright, a model for all Hokages throughout history, even among the Five Great Nations his character is impeccable. How could he be so bored as to use an A-rank jutsu to peep at the women’s bathhouse? It must be that I opened the door the wrong way. The Hokage was just patrolling Konoha, maintaining village security, and it just so happened that when I came in, he was checking the women’s bathhouse. No, that’s not a women’s bathhouse, it just looks like one. Maybe… it’s a newly opened restaurant. A bunch of girls eating big steamed buns in the restaurant, and because it’s so hot, they took off their clothes, each eating two, one on the left and one on the right. The Hokage missed lunch, and seeing them eat so heartily, he started drooling… Yes, that’s it, it makes perfect sense, no problem at all!

No problem my ass! There’s drool all over the floor, and I’m not blind—those are clearly the girls’ own “meat buns”!

“Ahem… It’s you, William!” Being caught by his subordinate in such an embarrassing scene, Samuel Harris felt his embarrassment reach a new level. But after more than twenty years as Hokage, he had long since developed an incredibly thick skin. He quickly dispelled the Telescope Jutsu, straightened his clothes, wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth, and sat upright as if nothing had happened.

“……”

William Baker was shocked once again. No wonder the Second Hokage chose you as his successor, no wonder you’re the boss and we’re all just underlings. I truly bow down to you.

“William, what happened? You don’t look so good! Remaining calm even as Mount Tai collapses before you—that’s the quality an ANBU Commander should have. You still need more training! Also, next time knock before you come in. This is the Hokage’s office, after all, and there are many Konoha secrets here. We must be cautious.” Samuel Harris criticized sternly. As the ANBU Commander of Konoha, your performance disappoints me.

I’ve never seen anyone so shameless! Is this guy really the Hokage? He must be a fake! William Baker looked constipated, entering full-on roast mode. I just barged in without knocking, I’m so sorry! As the ANBU Commander, my professionalism is lacking, truly my fault! So Konoha’s secrets are in the women’s bathhouse, I’m really unqualified.

“I’m… I’m terribly sorry!”

“All right, since it’s your first offense, I’ll let it go this time. So, what’s the urgent matter? You’re not here just to have tea with me, are you?” Seeing that William Baker had realized his shortcomings, Samuel Harris nodded in satisfaction and got down to business.

“Hokage-sama, you must be joking. There’s something I have to report!” William Baker’s face alternated between pale and flushed. After all, he didn’t have the Hokage’s level of shamelessness, and his worldview was still being reconstructed.

“Oh? What is it?”

William Baker hurriedly reported every detail of the urgent intelligence sent by the ANBU squad last night to Samuel Harris. If it were just another border skirmish with a few ninja deaths, there’d be no need to inform the Hokage—such things happened almost daily and were nothing unusual. But if one of the dead Konoha ninjas was a member of ‘Root’, then it was worth investigating.

After listening to William Baker’s report, Samuel Harris frowned slightly, tapping his fingers on the desk. After a moment, he asked, “What do you think?”

“Your subordinate does not know.”

After speaking, William Baker looked at his nose, his nose at his mouth, his mouth at his heart, and his heart at his… you-know-what. I don’t know anything, don’t ask me. If you blow this up, it could start a war; if you play it down, it’s just a minor skirmish with Kirigakure, nothing serious. However, the people involved are not simple—it concerns another Konoha big shot, the high-ranking Hokage advisor Edward Clark. This is muddy water I can’t wade into.

“I understand. You may go.” Samuel Harris nodded, falling into deep thought.