“So envious, as expected of Lord William, truly a master at handling his wife!”

Damn it, even the dogs know now! And that ninja dog—do you have to be so gossipy? You’re a dog, for crying out loud! What’s this about you being the lesbian lover of the Inuzuka clan’s Sixth Brother’s mistress? The real troublemakers are you dogs! You’ve ruined the whole dog community’s reputation!

William Baker was about to lose it. At this rate, the whole of Konoha would know, and maybe even the Hokage was using the Telescope Jutsu to watch the spectacle. Thinking about how he’d bowed and scraped, begging so desperately, and now the whole village knew—William Baker felt completely drained.

Life is so hard, so very hard!

“Uncle, stay strong!” Henry Carter patted William Baker on the shoulder, gave a thumbs up, and flashed his bright white teeth: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, but about learning to dance in the rain. Believe in yourself, you can do it!”

Bastard, who wants your motivational nonsense! Who do you think is responsible for my misery? And how can your teeth be so white? My dream of becoming an elder is completely hopeless, all because of you!

In utter grief and rage, William Baker grabbed Henry Carter by the collar and, with a swoosh, disappeared outside the shop.

“Boss lady, I’ll pay for the dango next time, just put it on my tab.”

“……” The proprietress was speechless. In my twenty years running this old Konoha shop, I’ve seen all kinds of ninja… but never one like you. You want to put three skewers of dango on credit? Just how henpecked are you? She turned and added another sign at the shop entrance: Small business, thin profits, please don’t even ask, absolutely no credit.

Still uneasy, she added a line in small print under the sign: Middle-aged, purple-haired, henpecked customers, please do not enter!

Back home, William Baker found that Sarah wasn’t there, nor was Emily. He figured the mother and daughter had probably gone visiting, and he grew anxious. If Sarah found out her carefully cultivated image as a virtuous wife and loving mother had collapsed overnight, what would happen? She’d break down! If she gave up and let her true nature show, how would he survive? Would his peaceful, quiet days really be over?

Looking at the innocent, clueless Henry Carter, William Baker wanted nothing more than to tie him up with explosive tags and send him to the Hokage’s office for a little targeted demolition.

Kid, I can see right through you. You and the Hokage are in this together, aren’t you? Teaming up to set me up? Lord Hokage, I’ve already forgotten about that office scandal—please stop digging pits for me! This pit is so deep. Big pit inside small pit, small pit inside old pit, there’s water in the pit, mud in the water, and shit in the mud—damn, and the shit is poisonous! It’s only been three days; if it goes on for three months, you’ll probably have to find a new ANBU captain.

Seeing William Baker looking utterly hopeless, ready to turn on the gas and end it all, Henry Carter decided to say something to stop him.

“The path you chose—no matter how hard it is, you have to keep going, even if you have to crawl.”

“……”

Another bowl of soul chicken soup, crystal clear and ice cold. William Baker instantly made up his mind: before turning on the gas, he’d kill this kid first, to save Konoha from further harm.

“William, are you back already?”

Before William Baker could act, Sarah came in holding little Emily. William Baker was so startled he shivered, hurriedly took little Emily and handed her to Henry Carter, then rushed to serve tea, pour water, and give shoulder and back massages. Henry Carter took little Emily and started playing the staring game with her again. Little Emily giggled happily, grabbing onto Henry Carter’s hair.

“Darling, I just went to visit the wife of my seventh aunt’s third uncle’s little sister on the next street, and I heard a very interesting piece of gossip. Come with me to the bedroom, I’ll tell you all about it.” Sarah smiled sweetly, linking arms with William Baker, a cold glint flashing in her eyes.

“Let’s not, I still have ANBU business…” William Baker was pulled by Sarah, so scared his hair stood on end. He was about to make an excuse, but seeing the dangerous look in her eyes, he thought, Sooner or later I’m dead anyway, might as well get it over with—maybe there’s still a chance to save myself.

“But no matter how important work is, it can wait. Darling, you come first.”

“That’s good, I wouldn’t want to delay your work.”

“Giggle giggle, bye-bye, Daddy!” Little Emily turned and waved.

“We’ll probably meet again…” William Baker forced a smile as he was dragged away, leaving only a desolate, lonely figure behind.

For someone in the late stages of being henpecked, Henry Carter felt sympathy—his misfortune was a warning to all men. So here’s the question: what, exactly, made a powerhouse like William Baker so afraid of his wife?

From his words and actions, and the attitude of other ninja, it could be inferred that William Baker either held a high position or was quite powerful—definitely not just an average ninja. What, you don’t believe it? Haven’t you read the original? His daughter Emily was the only true disciple left in Konoha by Orochimaru before he defected. And who is Orochimaru? The Third Hokage’s designated successor, the top candidate for Hokage—if not for that scandal, the blond nice guy would never have gotten the job.