Oh come on, isn’t this the line from every night at 7:30? I’ve read a lot, you can’t fool me. Did you eat the other great contributor to pacifying the chaos and founding Konoha, Charles Morgan? And sure, these Hokage are indeed powerful, but when it comes to leadership… I can only say, heh.

The First Hokage’s intelligence is often offline, everyone knows that, PASS; the Second Hokage is too scheming, great at playing politics and dividing power, but his methods lack grandeur, and his personal charisma isn’t even as good as the First, PASS; the Third Hokage… let’s talk about him when he stops peeping, PASS; the Fourth Hokage hasn’t taken office yet, but by the looks of it, he’s a hardcore wife guy, PASS; the Fifth Hokage… let’s wait until she pays off her debts, PASS; the Sixth Hokage got lost and hasn’t arrived yet, PASS; the Seventh Hokage… his intelligence is probably offline as much as the First, PASS.

With so many brilliant leaders, for Konoha to have made it this far, I just want to say… to the other four great ninja villages, did you pick your Kage by lottery?

Chapter 6: Drink This Bowl of Chicken Soup Before You Go

After finishing the stories of the three Hokage, William Baker couldn’t help but feel parched, but seeing Henry Carter’s awestruck expression, he felt his efforts weren’t wasted. At least this kid now knows the greatness of Konoha—sense of accomplishment as a teacher +1.

Actually, you don’t know anything, do you! Henry Carter struggled with whether to tell William Baker the truth, but after thinking it over, he kept quiet. This is a top-level scandal—knowing too much wouldn’t be good for him. Let him keep living happily in ignorance.

“Kid, after hearing all this, what are your thoughts?” William Baker asked expectantly. I’ve said so much, aren’t you going to bow down and pledge to contribute to Konoha’s construction?

“My thoughts… a lot!” Henry Carter was a bit frazzled. So you’re trying to brainwash me, huh!

“Oh? Let’s hear it!”

The two walked into a dango shop, ordered a few skewers, and a pot of water—mainly for William Baker, who was thirsty after talking so much.

“Uh, how should I put this!” Henry Carter recalled the 7:30 lines and organized his words: “Konoha ninja must thoroughly implement the basic policies and guidelines set by the Hokage, take the lead in participating in the glorious mission of defending the village and all aspects of Konoha’s construction, motivate villagers to strive for economic development and social progress, and play a model, leading, backbone, and bridging role in production, work, study, and life. Become an example and role model for the villagers—only then will Konoha become even more prosperous…”

Henry Carter spouted nonsense with a straight face. He only changed a few words, but the flavor was the same. As he rambled on, William Baker’s jaw dropped lower and lower, looking worse and worse. Amazing, this level puts me to shame. If I could talk like this, I’d already be the Hokage’s assistant—maybe even a future elder! Better write this down, the Hokage will love to hear it.

One talked, the other took notes, and they went on like this for half an hour until Henry Carter’s throat was burning. Is this guy dumb? I’m spouting such nonsense and he still doesn’t stop me. Sure, these words are useful, but they don’t fit this world at all.

“Finished?” William Baker was still unsatisfied. Keep going, I haven’t had enough—my future as an elder depends on you!

Henry Carter lowered his head and said nothing, his mind completely drained. Under the landlady’s disdainful gaze, he downed three cups of water in a row. These two broke guys came in, only ordered three skewers, hogged a table, and asked for five pots of water—does water not cost money?

Just as William Baker was still unsatisfied and wanted Henry Carter to say more, a few ninja in green vests walked in. Seeing William Baker in plain clothes, they all greeted him.

“It’s Lord William!”

“Didn’t expect to see you here! No official business today?”

“Landlady, let’s push some tables together here, and bring three more pots of water!”

“……” The landlady silently turned to add three more pots of water, and put up a new sign at the door. It read: Minimum order ten skewers per table. If you want to chat, tea and water are charged.

“It’s you guys! Long time no see, how have you been lately?” Seeing familiar faces, William Baker happily chatted with them. After some pointless small talk, the topic shifted to Henry Carter.

“What a cute little girl, what’s your name? How old are you?”

“Mitokado Henry Carter, four years old, I’m a boy.”

“Oh! I know, I know, I heard yesterday—she’s Lord William’s illegitimate daughter.”

I said I’m a boy!

“I know too! My neighbor’s second aunt’s coworker’s little aunt’s third uncle lives next door to Lord William. That night was quite a commotion—illegitimate daughter showing up, a real high-society scandal!”

Are you even listening? I said I’m a boy!

“Yeah, yeah! I also heard from my fourth uncle’s housekeeper’s grandson’s second cousin’s in-law. They say the illegitimate daughter incident even alarmed the Hokage Guard!”

Bastards, I’m a boy!

“I heard it from my ninja dog! It was told by the lesbian lover of the Inuzuka family’s sixth brother’s mistress! Amazing—an illegitimate daughter shows up and it’s resolved peacefully.”

Fine, whatever makes you happy!