One day, Ethan Brooks accidentally joined a chat group full of hardcore xianxia fans with severe chuunibyou. The group members all addressed each other as "Daoist friends," and their group nicknames were things like Palace Lord, Cave Master, True Lord, and Celestial Master. Even the group owner's lost pet dog was called the Great Demon Dog Who Ran Away From Home. All day long, they chatted about alchemy, exploring secret realms, and cultivation experiences.

Then, one day, after lurking for a long time, he suddenly discovered... every single member of the group was actually a real cultivator, the kind who could move mountains and seas and live for thousands of years!

Aaaaaah, his worldview completely shattered overnight!

Volume One: Nine Provinces Number One Group

Chapter 1: Henry Clark and the Nine Provinces Number One Group

May 20, 2019, Monday.

Spring ends, summer begins.

During this season, the temperature difference between day and night in Jiangnan becomes huge. During the day, you sweat like a dog in just shorts; at night, you have to curl up under the covers, freezing like a cold bird.

Jiangnan University Town.

2:13 PM, right when students are supposed to be in class. Ethan Brooks, however, was alone in his dorm, with his computer desk pulled up to the bed so he could watch movies in any position he liked.

Ethan Brooks wasn't the type to skip class—last night, it was hot and stuffy until midnight, and in his sleep, he did a "double dragon emerges from the sea" move and kicked off his blanket. In the second half of the night, the temperature plummeted. With only a pair of shorts on, Ethan Brooks was in trouble. In his sleep, he groped around the bed with both hands, searching desperately, but couldn't find the blanket. In the end, he could only curl up like a mantis shrimp, shivering under the midnight chill.

By sunrise, Ethan Brooks had joined the ranks of seasonal flu sufferers.

His roommate had already called in sick for him.

After that, he took some cold medicine and slept until now.

The fever had subsided, but his body still felt weak—there was no way he could go to class like this. So, he could only stay in the dorm alone, bored, watching movies.

On the screen, the movie's progress bar crept forward. But Ethan Brooks wasn't paying any attention to the movie at all.

"Is the medicine still working? I'm so sleepy." He yawned, feeling his eyelids grow heavy.

"Beep beep beep~" At that moment, a notification popped up from the chat software in the bottom right corner of his computer.

It was a prompt that someone had added him as a friend or invited him to a group.

"Who added me?" Ethan Brooks muttered, reaching out to tap the notification in the bottom right corner of the touchscreen. The message popped up.

[Henry Clark (＊＊＊＊＊＊) requests to add you as a friend.] Additional message: None.

Henry Clark? Who's that, with such a weird nickname?

"Is it someone from my class?" Ethan Brooks wondered, thinking of those classmates who, even in college, were still stuck in their adolescent fantasy phase. If it was them, it made sense they'd use such strange nicknames.

Thinking this, he clicked "Accept."

Immediately, another system message popped up.

[Henry Clark invites you to join the group 'Nine Provinces Number One Group.' Do you accept?]

Ethan Brooks clicked accept again.

"书山压力大" agreed to join "Nine Provinces Number One Group."

[You have agreed to join the group. Say hi to your new groupmates!] The system even sent a smiley face.

These days, chat apps are getting more and more user-friendly.

After a string of notifications, Ethan Brooks calmly closed the prompts and the group chat window—he was too sleepy to care about what group he'd just joined.

Anyway, his group settings were always "no message pop-ups, only show the number of messages," so group chats wouldn't disturb him, just show the unread count next to the group.

Once he was more awake, he could check the chat history to see what kind of group he'd joined, and none of the messages would be lost.

His eyes grew heavier and heavier...

The movie progress bar kept moving forward, but Ethan Brooks's consciousness grew fuzzier and fuzzier.

……

In the Nine Provinces Number One Group, after seeing a newcomer join, some lurkers popped up.

Logan Carter: "Henry Clark added a new Daoist friend? It's been over a year since we had a new member, right?"

Then, the user with the ID "Adam Foster" quickly replied: "A new Daoist friend? Which region of China are you from? Which cave residence do you cultivate in? What's your Daoist name? What cultivation rank are you?"

This barrage of questions somehow felt a bit off.

Almost at the same time, the user Blake Miller sent a message: "New Daoist friend, what's your gender? Are you a fairy? If so, report your measurements and post a pic!"

Seeing the messages from Adam Foster and Blake Miller, several people in the group couldn't help but twitch their lips.

"Brother Sanlang, are you part goldfish or something?" Logan Carter sighed. "You better not mess around again. What if Henry Clark just added a senior expert?"

Sanlang was a good guy—loyal, helpful, and well-liked—but he had a habit of flirting and always managed to get himself into trouble.

The worst part was, his luck was abysmally bad. Every time he accidentally crossed the line, he always offended some senior expert. These bored seniors were always looking for fun, so they were more than happy to mess with Blake Miller, who basically delivered himself to their doorstep.

"Please, don't mention 'senior expert.' I've got PTSD," Blake Miller sent a string of "crying" emojis.