Volume One: A River of Misty Grass, the City Full of Flying Catkins, and Plum Rains in the Yellow Season

Chapter One: The Half-Bastard of Jiangshan

“At that moment, a stunning beauty with a face score of ninety, standing at 1.8 meters tall and wearing sky-high heels, walked toward me! You know, a girl with that kind of figure is really intimidating. I felt right then... she was definitely going to rape me! I was just wondering whether I should be obedient, or resist a little to spice things up...”

“And then you woke up, right?”

William Harper slapped his thigh and shouted, “I really did see such a tall, long-legged girl! Don’t you guys doubt me!”

Out of the eight guys in the dorm, seven were jeering. William Harper’s protests were drowned out in the surround-sound waves of their teasing, barely making a ripple.

William Harper’s nickname was “the Half-Bastard of the Computer Science Department at Peking University.” It was said that half the department’s bastards were all rolled into him. There’s a little story behind this nickname...

Back then, a brother in the dorm had just been dumped—his girlfriend was snatched away by some tall, rich, and handsome guy. He spent his days reenacting Titanic, crying like Rose watching Jack sink into the sea. William Harper just couldn’t stand seeing his bro waste his life over love—mainly because, whether gaming, reading, or doing anything that required quiet, there was always this background noise: a pathetic guy sobbing, choking, whimpering, and constantly calling, “Ah Yan, Ah Yan, Ah Yan...” It was so damn annoying that he came up with an idea for his bro.

This idea was truly “rotten to the core”!

He spent two months’ living expenses to find an international exchange student at Beihang University—a classic Nordic girl, skin as fair as milk, features as exquisite as a classical painting, tall and slender, with perky breasts and a shapely butt, and an especially commanding presence. She barged right into a big lecture both of them attended and slapped his bro across the face on the spot.

A foreign beauty scoring nearly ninety-nine points slapping a guy in public—did that need any more hype?

The slap instantly drew international-level attention. Even the foreign exchange students craned their necks to see what was going on, and the onlookers all fell silent in unspoken agreement, eager to find out what juicy gossip was unfolding.

This Nordic beauty, after slapping William Harper’s heartbroken roommate, burst into tears like a weeping pear blossom—pitiful yet stubborn. Her acting was so good that even William Harper, the mastermind, wondered if he’d found the wrong school and accidentally hired a student from the Beijing Film Academy.

The foreign beauty’s crying was devastatingly powerful. Some people immediately wanted to stand up for justice. Several would-be heroes stepped forward, righteously speaking out. Just as the atmosphere was heating up, the Nordic girl, in Mandarin with a heavy Scandinavian accent but clear enunciation, declared, “Our Linnaeus family, for the sake of our century-old family business, wants to marry me off to you. Every time I think of this, I want to cover my ears so my tears won’t fall, but I absolutely refuse. I would rather... rather...”

Her words were forceful, but her Mandarin was clearly lacking. Not only did she mix up her facial features, but at the crucial moment, she even forgot her lines. Then... in a fit of rage, she slapped the guy again.

This foreign beauty was so fierce that she instantly won a legion of fans.

...Soon, people started to catch on. Turns out this bro was playing the fool—he looked pathetic, but he was actually quite capable! Able to acquire the Linnaeus family business—though no one knew what the Linnaeus family actually was, everyone thought he must be impressive, surely a “yin-type rich second generation” (as the campus saying goes: those who flaunt their wealth are yang-type, those who keep a low profile are yin-type—).

Everyone started looking at this bro differently, including his “ex-Babygirl.”

Originally, the show William Harper bought with two months’ living expenses should have ended there. But unexpectedly, after slapping his bro twice, the Nordic girl added another scene, loudly declaring, “I’ll pick the sleaziest man here! My body, as white as Mount Chogori’s snow, I’d rather give it to a strange sleazy man than let you lay a finger on me!”

“Not even a finger!” She shouted those five words, one by one, with such intensity! Many of the guys watching couldn’t help but think of a certain craftsman named Kato Taka.

At that moment, almost all the self-proclaimed “handsome” guys deeply regretted being born with such good looks, while all the ugly guys collectively reached a climax, recalling philosophical sayings like, “Heaven gave me talent for a reason; even eunuchs can visit brothels. Roses will wither one day, but even dogtail grass can have its spring.”

Several people wanted to write the word “sleazy” on their faces right then and there. Some even thought about how to quickly get a T-shirt printed with “sleazy” to prove they were the real deal! A few particularly bold guys nearly started fighting over who was the sleaziest man present.